Man, I have to say, this thread is truly disappointing.
I'm about to purchase and deploy some new servers, converting a client over to VMware. I was planning on using LSI 9261-8i cards, but this thread makes me not want to use that card and, in all honesty, not want to use VMware. ESXi has given me a real sore spot, being so utterly limited. It doesn't even have sendmail, or mailx. This is entriely too much effort to get something working that is so essential (managing RAID, rebuilding) and should by all rights "just work". Shame on VMware and LSI. Additionally, AFAICT, why the hell are people using Intel software to manage an LSI product? Maybe I missed something, but that's beside the point.
I recently "hacked" my old 3ware SATA 9xxx card into ESXi 4.1, as an installation medium, using USB slipstreaming/splicing/whatever, and that process was easier than this seems to be. It's rock solid and their CLI works flawlessly (though it's not as convenient as the 3DM web interface--which is no longer possible thanks to ESXi). VMware is going in the wrong direction here, IMHO, making things too convoluted. I have a feeling Hyper-V will eventually take over. Regardless, I'm going to do some thorough performance and stability testing on Xen, Hyper-V and Linux KVM now...they should at least provide useful host environments, if not easier hardware compatibility. Hopefully they've improved since I last tried them. I really like VMware, but I also like not having to waste hours upon hours for stuff like this, when a solution has already been created and working well for a long time.
Case and point: I spent a day trying to be able manage said 3ware 9xxx controller. There is a second one in that box, secondary storage for the VM datastore, and it's listed as supported by VMware for this use (not as install medium). However, it's impossible to get the 3DM web interface going, SNMP doesn't help, and there's no way to have it send an email when a disk is degraded. I'm using the CLI on the host and SSH with cron in a VM to poll for degraded arrays. 
I guess "supported" doesn't include management, which in my mind is simply insane.
I appreciate all the documentation and effort you people put into this, thanks, really. At the very least it's a warning to others (like me) to expect rough road ahead when choosing these products. Hopefully, it solved some users' problems. Also, hopefully, this gets sorted out before we need to put in the order. 
These are just my opinions; I'm sure others would disagree. I'm only posting this in the hopes that VMware and LSI both see it and understand that this stuff does influence potential customers. I'd be willing to bet that I'm not alone.
I finally got it working!
I have an LSI 9261-8i controller, on VMware ESXi 4.1u1 and I installed the latest drivers using Remote CLI and the
vmware-esx-drivers-scsi-megaraid-sas_400.5.29-1vmw.2.17.00000.379626.iso offline bundle.
Firmware on my 9261-8i controller is Version: 12.12.0-0048 (APP-2.120.63-1242)
1. Extract the iso file to obtain the offline bundle file contained within, LSI_5.29-offline_bundle-379626.zip
2. Open the vSphere Remote CLI and change to the bin directory.
3. Execute the following commands at vSphere Remote CLI Command Prompt:
vihostupdate.pl --server {Server IP Address} --username root --password {Root Password}
--bundle c:\(driverdirectory)\LSI_5.29-offline_bundle-379626.zip --install
Make sure to replace (driverdirectory) with the directory where the offline bundle file is located.
4. Restart ESXi Host.
5. Load MegaRAID Storage Manager version v3.04.07 Rev. A on your management station. This is preferably a VM on the ESXi host.
6. REBOOT the management station and connect to MSM. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP. Reboot is necessary for it to find the controller.
LSI MegaRAID Storage Manager (MSM) v3.04.07 Rev. A for Windows.
(In case the link above ever dies, the file you need is: sp45664.exe)
